<![CDATA[Comedian Brian Kohatsu - Blog]]>Wed, 27 May 2026 09:49:53 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Tru Bromance: A Novel Idea]]>Wed, 03 Aug 2016 23:33:54 GMThttps://www.briankohatsu.com/blog/august-03rd-2016Originally posted 6/5/2015 Picture
​Recently, I had the privilege of performing at the Arizona Dreamin' / Dreams Convention in Scottsdale, Arizona.  It's a unique conference for authors and readers of romance novels to gather, read, learn and network.  Most of all, this group likes to have fun, they even have the Mr. Dreams competition. That's right, beefcake, brawn and books.  Future Fabio's can come and strut their stuff.

Kris Tualla, a friend, author and coordinator of the event explained to me the different types of genres for romance novels. Traditional, paranormal, sci-fi and pirate, just to name a few, but I realized that something was missing. So I decided to write my first novel... a bromance novel.  That's right, a bromance novel to reach an unreachable audience of "bros".  I read this at Arizona Dreamin' and they enjoyed it, so I decided to share it again. Enjoy bro!
Tru Bromance
By Brian Kohatsu

Chapter One: The Party
It was Saturday night and my girlfriend Rachel wanted to go to a party.  Her BFF Tonya was having a “get together” with some of her d-bag friends from work and I really did not want to go.

“Come on, Zack!” Rachel said to me, “It will be fun. Besides, you really need to meet some new people…not everyone is a d-bag.” Reluctantly, I agreed to go, but I was not planning on staying long.

As we arrived at the party, I recognized most of the d-bags from other office parties… the d-bag from accounting, the d-bag from purchasing and worst of all, her d-bag boss, Austin…what a d-bag.

From across the room I could hear Rachel yell to me, “Zack! Come here! There’s somebody I want you to meet.”  “Just great,” I thought, another d-bag’s name I have to try and remember.

As I approached the group Rachel was standing with, I noticed a blonde dude in a True Religion shirt standing next to Rachel’s BFF Tonya. “Zack,” Rachel said to me, “this is Skyler, Tonya’s boyfriend.” “Sup?” I said. “Sup?”  Skyler said. Then we fist bumped without even planning it, like we had known each other our whole lives.

Skyler spoke, “Did you see all the d-bags around here? Like that d-bag from accounting, the d-bag from purchasing and her d-bag boss Austin.”

I was astonished. “He’s the worst of all!” I said.

“Totally. What a d-bag,” said Skyler.

I couldn’t believe my ears. Where did Tonya find this dude? We talked for hours about sports, reality shows and other d-bags in the room.  It was like we were brothers from another mother.  Suddenly Rachel reappeared, “We have to go, I have to get up early tomorrow.”

My heart sank… would I see Skyler again? I finally found a dude that gets me and I have to go? “Why Rachel, why?”  But just then, something amazing happened.

Skyler asked, “Hey bro, you wanna hit Avenger’s tomorrow at the superplex?”

What?! Bro?! This was moving way too fast. My heart was a-flutter, but I didn’t want to look too anxious. I calmed myself, “Yeah, that’s cool.”

Skyler nodded, “Meet me at the theater at noon and we’ll grab some grub. Later Amigo!”

Wow, “Later Amigo”…how cool was that.  This was the start of a beautiful Bromance…or was it!?
After I finished up my set and read the "excerpt" from my "novel", I found myself surrounded by the male models of the Mr. Dreams Competition.  Mr. Dreams 2013 James D. Magnussen tell me a story about meeting another contestant the year he won and then at the end of their conversation asking him to go see Avenger with him. Too funny!
]]><![CDATA[Andy Griffith - MMMMMMMM, Good Actor!]]>Wed, 03 Aug 2016 23:07:21 GMThttps://www.briankohatsu.com/blog/andy-griffith-mmmmmm-good-actorOriginally posted 7/3/2012 Picture
Long ago before stand up comics talked about their body parts and sitcoms talked about sex and nothing, there was a man named Andy. No, not Andy Kaufman who did the outrageous or extreme minimum for comedy effect, but an Andy that was just "plain folk" to the world. I'm talking about Andy Griffith. 

Many of his characters were simple people with a simple message; be good to others, try to do what's right, seek the truth and keep the peace above all else.  No drama, just "kind" honesty.  Value your friends and family and eat a lot of fried chicken in the process.

Growing up in Arizona I would watch Andy Griffith on KPHO, Channel 5 every chance I could.  It was the best thing about staying home sick.  Dick Van Dyke followed by The Andy Griffith Show and Hogan's Heroes.  Andy Griffith was the best because it was laugh out loud funny - the original LOL.  Nearly everyone watched if they were home sick from school, sick from work or just came home for lunch.  You would alter your schedule just to watch this great show.  Don Knotts was great, but Andy kept it all together.  The job of the straight man is to make everyone else look good and Andy Griffith made Don Knotts and everyone around him look simply AMAZING!

As I grew up I still watched reruns, embraced a Ritz Cracker commercial as a "new episodes", watched Salvage 1 (because he wore flannel) and eventually all the Andy Griffith show reunion movies.  Anytime he was on TV, everyone in the room perked up a little. Of course, who could forget Matlock for which, in my opinion, is the model for Walker Texas Ranger. (Don't over think it, just keep reading...)
PictureA Face in The Crowd with Patricia Neal
His movie career is varied with his dramatic film debut in A Face in the Crowd and his hilarious performance in No Time for Sergeants.  Two films that I would highly recommend are Rustler's Rhapsody  (1985) as the gay cattle baron and Waitress (2007) as an old guy eating pie in a diner.  Think what you want about these two films, but Griffith steals every scene he is in. 

There are a lot of great films with Andy Griffith, but it is The Andy Griffith Show that he will always be remembered.  He showed us how to be good fathers, a close friend and how to treat a lady when you take her to Myers Lake. ​
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I use to carry this picture around with me in my wallet. It's absolutely true.  People would ask why and I would tell them it's because they are like family to me. Maybe I'm was a little strange, but I was completely sincere to the idea that we can live a simple life with good friends and family. (and then came Facebook to screw it all up...but another story for another time) Mayberry lives inside all of us. A world with no hate, no politics and no immigration problems (that's South Carolina). Just people trying to get along, respecting their neighbors and again, eating a lot of fried chicken in the process.

As a comic, I find that Andy Griffith has influenced me more than any other single person.  I like jokes that everyone can enjoy.  Jokes that poke fun at us trying to do the right thing.  Jokes that help us see things in a different light or context. I do a series of jokes in my "Celebrity Diagnosis" set. The idea is celebrities giving the diagnosis instead of the doctor, so you feel better about your illness. I do my Andy Griffith impression, "Well, now, now, looks like somebody did a little kissy kissy and got them-self an STD! Mmmmm!" I'd like to think the impression is getting the laugh, but the real reason is because I'm allow people to see how Andy Griffith would handle something in today's world.  It's done in the "we all have a little fun now and then, but you got yourself in a little trouble - everything is gonna be alright" kinda way.  Andy makes this scenario better because we trust him to make things alright.

This joke, along with my Mayberry CSI sketch, Andy Griffith DVDs and years of quoting the show is the reason that so many people reached out to me today after hearing about Andy Griffith passing.  I never had an opportunity to meet the man, but we all feel like we know him and owe him a big thank you. 

Thank you Andy for great memories that will keep on for years to come. Best of luck to you and yours!
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