The Mayan calendar is terrible. First the pictures are horrible. I mean really, a picture of the Earth swallowing up a kitten with the caption, "Hang in there!"? Second, it's too heavy to hang. Third, they didn't leave enough room to write down birthdays, holidays or parent/teacher conferences anywhere on the dumb thing. Stupid, stupid calendar. Don't waste your time buying it, I hear it's pretty inaccurate...29 days in February...yeah, right.
Now for something more exciting, January 23rd marks the Chinese New Year, so break out your fireworks, sparklers and dragon costume because it's time to party. The Chinese calendar is associated with animals; Goat, Rooster, Snake, Monkey, Pig and more. Of course the coolest Chinese astrology signs is the Dragon. I think this is so cool because popular culture loves stuff with Dragons. Pete's Dragon, How to Train Your Dragon, Puff the Magic Dragon, Dungeons and Dragons, the list goes on. For me, I always think of Bruce Lee. Bruce was born in the Year of the Dragon and is closely associated because of his most popular film "Enter the Dragon".
To be clear, I don't celebrate Chinese New Year because I'm an American and I'm from Japanese decent, not Chinese. Because I'm half Asian, people assume that I know a lot about Asian culture and traditions, this could not be further from the truth. However, this has not detoured people from asking me Asian related questions over the years. So, in celebration of the Year of the Dragon I will answer actual questions that I get from people and clear up any confusion over all things Asian to the best of my Hapa knowledge.
Now for something more exciting, January 23rd marks the Chinese New Year, so break out your fireworks, sparklers and dragon costume because it's time to party. The Chinese calendar is associated with animals; Goat, Rooster, Snake, Monkey, Pig and more. Of course the coolest Chinese astrology signs is the Dragon. I think this is so cool because popular culture loves stuff with Dragons. Pete's Dragon, How to Train Your Dragon, Puff the Magic Dragon, Dungeons and Dragons, the list goes on. For me, I always think of Bruce Lee. Bruce was born in the Year of the Dragon and is closely associated because of his most popular film "Enter the Dragon".
To be clear, I don't celebrate Chinese New Year because I'm an American and I'm from Japanese decent, not Chinese. Because I'm half Asian, people assume that I know a lot about Asian culture and traditions, this could not be further from the truth. However, this has not detoured people from asking me Asian related questions over the years. So, in celebration of the Year of the Dragon I will answer actual questions that I get from people and clear up any confusion over all things Asian to the best of my Hapa knowledge.
Q. Brian, what does Hapa mean?
A. Hapa is a term used to describe a person of mixed Asian or Pacific Islander ethnic heritage.
Q. Brian, you're obviously Mexican, why do you have a Japanese last name?
A. Because my father is Japanese, my mother is Caucasian and you can't think outside of a box.
Q. Brian, who wins in a fight between Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan?
A. In a film, Bruce Lee. In real life, Lee wins in his prime, but Chan doesn't go down easy. We've all seen the outtakes from his films and know that he can take a hit and keep coming back.
Q. Brian, were you joking about being Japanese? I mean, you're Mexican, right?
A. No, I'm half Japanese and my mother is White with blonde hair and blue eyes.
Q. Why can't I use the term "Oriental" anymore to describe an Asian person?
A. Hard to give a quick answer on this one. Basically it's an outdated term. Today it used more toward items or products and not people.
Q. Brian, are you sure you're not Mexican?
A. Yes, I'm sure. Get over it and let's move on.
Q. Who wins in a fight between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris?
A. In a film, Bruce Lee. On TV's Walker Texas Ranger it's a draw followed by a high five. In real life, sadly nobody wins...America loses.
Q. Brian, where did you learn to use chopsticks?
A. My father taught me at the dinner table.
Q. Really? I thought you were Mex...
A. Just stop.
Q. Brian, did you ever study Martial Arts?
A. Yes, just like every grade school kid in America. As a matter of fact, even though I'm a bit rusty, I'm pretty sure I could still beat up a grade school kid if needed.
Q. Brian, why do you renounce your Mexican Heritage?
A. What? It's not mine to "renounce". Are you even paying attention?
Q. Brian, are Asians bad drivers?
A. No. Asians make up over 60% of the worlds population, so logically the odds of an Asian being involved in a car accident are going to be higher. I've been in one car accident in my life and it wasn't an Asian that hit me. Besides, if Asians were bad drivers then why would they trust Sulu to drive the Enterprise?
Q. Brian, seriously, nobody in your family is Mexican?
A. Please go away.
Q. Brian, people always talk about the "size" of Asian men, thoughts?
A. Again, much like the bad driver comments, people are missing the point. With 60% of the world's population, the "job" is getting done...frequently! Oh and to answer the question, Godzilla appears larger on smaller islands!
Q. Brian, what year where you born?
A. The year of the Monkey...obviously.
Q. Brian, I noticed that your son looks a little Asian, was he adopted?
A. No, my wife and I made him. He looks a little Asian because I'm a little Asian.
Q. Last question Brian, I recently saw you eating at a Mexican food restaurant, why?
A. Fine, I'm Mexican.
Unfortunately, all these questions were real. Perhaps in the future I will share more, but for now I will leave you with this cool little tidbit. If you grab your cell phone and use the T9 or predictive text feature or just look at the numbers - spell the word BRIAN. If you don't have a friend named Brian, it will come up ASIAN...pretty cool huh?
I wish all of you a very prosperous 2012 and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Good bye and Sayonara!
A. Hapa is a term used to describe a person of mixed Asian or Pacific Islander ethnic heritage.
Q. Brian, you're obviously Mexican, why do you have a Japanese last name?
A. Because my father is Japanese, my mother is Caucasian and you can't think outside of a box.
Q. Brian, who wins in a fight between Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan?
A. In a film, Bruce Lee. In real life, Lee wins in his prime, but Chan doesn't go down easy. We've all seen the outtakes from his films and know that he can take a hit and keep coming back.
Q. Brian, were you joking about being Japanese? I mean, you're Mexican, right?
A. No, I'm half Japanese and my mother is White with blonde hair and blue eyes.
Q. Why can't I use the term "Oriental" anymore to describe an Asian person?
A. Hard to give a quick answer on this one. Basically it's an outdated term. Today it used more toward items or products and not people.
Q. Brian, are you sure you're not Mexican?
A. Yes, I'm sure. Get over it and let's move on.
Q. Who wins in a fight between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris?
A. In a film, Bruce Lee. On TV's Walker Texas Ranger it's a draw followed by a high five. In real life, sadly nobody wins...America loses.
Q. Brian, where did you learn to use chopsticks?
A. My father taught me at the dinner table.
Q. Really? I thought you were Mex...
A. Just stop.
Q. Brian, did you ever study Martial Arts?
A. Yes, just like every grade school kid in America. As a matter of fact, even though I'm a bit rusty, I'm pretty sure I could still beat up a grade school kid if needed.
Q. Brian, why do you renounce your Mexican Heritage?
A. What? It's not mine to "renounce". Are you even paying attention?
Q. Brian, are Asians bad drivers?
A. No. Asians make up over 60% of the worlds population, so logically the odds of an Asian being involved in a car accident are going to be higher. I've been in one car accident in my life and it wasn't an Asian that hit me. Besides, if Asians were bad drivers then why would they trust Sulu to drive the Enterprise?
Q. Brian, seriously, nobody in your family is Mexican?
A. Please go away.
Q. Brian, people always talk about the "size" of Asian men, thoughts?
A. Again, much like the bad driver comments, people are missing the point. With 60% of the world's population, the "job" is getting done...frequently! Oh and to answer the question, Godzilla appears larger on smaller islands!
Q. Brian, what year where you born?
A. The year of the Monkey...obviously.
Q. Brian, I noticed that your son looks a little Asian, was he adopted?
A. No, my wife and I made him. He looks a little Asian because I'm a little Asian.
Q. Last question Brian, I recently saw you eating at a Mexican food restaurant, why?
A. Fine, I'm Mexican.
Unfortunately, all these questions were real. Perhaps in the future I will share more, but for now I will leave you with this cool little tidbit. If you grab your cell phone and use the T9 or predictive text feature or just look at the numbers - spell the word BRIAN. If you don't have a friend named Brian, it will come up ASIAN...pretty cool huh?
I wish all of you a very prosperous 2012 and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Good bye and Sayonara!
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