From Russia with Too Much Love!

11/21/2011

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It's been a week since my first blog posted and I wanted it to soak in a little before posting another "gripping" story from my life.  This is a grand experiment.  Will people read it, will people comment and will anybody care? Yes, yes and "eh".  The one thing I wasn't prepared for was the "new" web traffic to my website.

I'm a normal person with a pretty normal life....we'll as normal as a half Japanese comedian who looks Mexican can get to normal.  I have a loving family, wife, kids and even a dog.  I go to church, pay my taxes and try to be a responsible adult.  So you can easily understand that after last week's posting I would get a ton of referrals to my website from Russia. That's right, Russia.

"What!?" Yeah, that's what I said.

Now for a brief moment in time I was thinking, this was really cool.  I somehow made a huge impression in Russia. They dig my technology and Wham! jokes.  They get me!  Who were these adoring Russians referring others to my website? I had referrals from a Russian moving company, florist and even a mortician.  Then I notice something terribly wrong... a Russian prostitution site! How did I know something was wrong? Because my jokes are way too smart for Russian prostitutes...especially the Wham! jokes.

Now I would love to think that Russians have nothing better to do between looking up a moving company and surfing Russian porn than to watch me sing the Asian Song, but I'm not as naive as you think.  I mean you give $25,000 to an African prince a couple of times and people think you're stupid, but THIS is different.  Obviously some kind of techno, wormhole, internet, time displacement program from Russia that only a IT/web developer could explain, has attached itself to my blog and thought it could have it's way spamming all my posts and comments.  BUT, since all comments have to be approved by me, along with the latest in force field technology available by Norton and my computer's firewall actually being made of real fire - I beat the Russians!  Just like Rocky, Patrick Swayze, Gilligan and Captain Kirk. The cold war may be over for some, but apparently not online. Don't get me wrong, I have a very close Russian friend in comedienne Liliya Souslova.  Not once has she ever tried to spam me or even spoon with me. She's what I would call "good people". But the internet is the internet, whatcha gonna do?

I will say that traffic from Google, Facebook, Ask.com and Bing has increased, so that's actually a good thing.  

So in closing, I'm sure a few key words in this post will drive more people to this blog from all over the world because apparently when you use the word "Japanese" or "Asian", people think one thing... Mexican-Looking-Comic.

As always, I encourage you to leave comments.  Again, be nice, the internet has enough jerks.
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Brian's Blog: Misspellings and Grammar Problems - Guaranteed!

11/08/2011

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Ugh...technology! Apparently I am buckling to the world's peer pressure and creating a blog.  The whole idea is so that I can share with you my insight (if I have any), opinions (like you care) and my feelings (really?).  Since this is my first blog ever, let's talk about the title of the post, "Brian's Blog: Misspellings and Grammar Problems - Guaranteed!".

First of all, my mother was a bad speller, God rest her soul.  She was a wonderful woman, but couldn't spell S.O.S to get herself off an island.  Scientist have said there is a spelling gene that causes people to be bad spellers.  We'll, that's one trait I got from my dear mother.

My father was my best friend in the world.  A very smart, wise and patient man.  He was a farmer, which might explain the patient part.  He was Japanese, but born in Arizona. English was his first language, Japanese his second, Spanish his third and a little bit of French in High School. (French language...get your mind out of the gutter.)  Language came very easy to my father and he was a great communicator.  He could talk to anyone about anything and I truly loved that about him.

My parents were very supportive. Early on they knew I was creative. They encouraging me with plenty of art supplies for projects, musical instruments with lessons and finally a film camera with film.  I did good in school, excelled in the arts, played sports and upon graduation went to college. And yes, community college is considered a college.

In college, my 80 year old English teacher, Mrs. Fisher, hated me.  Privately she asked me, "What is your major?" When I told her it was Industrial Television Technology, her eyes rolled, "Ugh, you creative people. Always putting punctuation wherever you want. You think with the wrong side of your brain." Lovely woman...I'm sure she's dead now. Maybe not. She's living in my left brain like a grammar zombie.

Anyway, I realized that day that I was getting conflicting information from my English teacher and my video teacher.  Bill Davis was my video instructor. He lived the evolution of broadcast during his life; first Morris Code, then radio, then television. He said when you write a script, you need to write it how a person actually talks.  So true! Nobody says, "I am going to the store." they say, "I'm going to the store."  I got into the habit of adding commas for breath and pacing issues for video.  Wrong when read, but right when heard on screen.  This method has served me well for over 22 years of media production. Thanks you Bill Davis. Bill died a few years ago, but lives inside my right brain, running through a wheat field and smiling.

A quick note: as I try and do the best I can when writing, I think it's important for you to know that I hate using abbreviations when texting or e-mailing.  I mean OMG WTF people! LOL :)

So with this blog, I will try my best to provide you will the best grammar possible. Sometimes really creative grammar, but the best I can muster. I can't take credit for the spelling.  My spell check has been going crazy during the writing of this blog and causing my computer to smoke. 

Future posts will be more interesting...I promise!

One more thing in closing, If you ever see the letter "R" or "L" added to a word, it's not because I am of Asian decent, it's a typo.  If you think it's on purpose...you're a Lasist!

If you comment...be nice!  The world has enough jerks. 
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